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Duke Nukem Forever is coming in May

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Duke Nukem Forever - 2K Games

Warm up your trigger finger and load up on bubble gum -- Duke Nukem Forever, the definitive vaporware video game, is headed back to your living room in a few short months.

Really.

2K Games and developer Gearbox announced Friday that the legendary first-person shooter will be released for the PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 in North America on May 3rd and internationally on May 6th -- a mere 14 years and one month after being announced.

"The moment fans all over the world have been waiting for is almost here," 2K prez Christoph Hartmann proudly proclaimed in a statement. "May 3, 2011 marks Duke's return as he unleashes his brash and brutally honest wit on the world. His return is going to be epic and one that will make video gaming history!"

History is exactly where many believed this game would stay.

First revealed by original Duke Nukem developer 3D Realms in
April of 1997, the game spent a full decade in what industry types refer to as
"development hell," suffering countless delays due to innumerable
changes to the game's engine, design and direction. Other than the occasional
enigmatic screenshot or unfounded rumor, very little was released indicating
that the title was actually a real project, earning it numerous "Vaporware
of the Year" awards over the years. It quickly became gaming's Loch Ness
Monster, a digital Sasquatch that was periodically sighted but largely believed
to be a load of rubbish. Finally, in 2009, 3D Realms was shuttered, seemingly
ending the greatest charade in video games.

But like its testosterone-fueled hero, to Duke Nukem Forever, death is just a pitstop.

Never one to shy from controversy, Grand Theft Auto publisher Take 2 Interactive picked up the rights and passed development duties to Gearbox Software, best known as the creators of respected shooters like Brothers in Arms and recent hit Borderlands. New trailers have since emerged, and the game even put in a playable appearance at last year's Penny Arcade game expo in Seattle. Existence confirmed.

The question now, however, is whether or not the title will
come anywhere near living up to its unprecedented expectations. The eponymous
star of the series couldn't be further from the serious, silent types featured
in more recent first-person franchises like Halo and Call of Duty. Duke Nukem is an
unapologetic, misogynistic meathead who chugs beers, chomps cigars and shoots
aliens, a send-up of the beefy action stars of the 1980s (and who bears a
striking resemblance to a certain ex-Governor). Are contemporary gamers ready
for the throwback?

They better be. According to the announcement, Duke Nukem
Forever will not only feature "pig cops, alien shrink rays, and enormous alien bosses,"
but will also let players shoot hoops, lift weights, and indulge in a variety of somewhat risque activities.

Worth waiting for? We'll have to wait a bit longer to find
out.

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