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Smell the fantasy with orc, elf perfume

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RPG Line - Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

Department stores are littered with perfumes and colognes that can make you smell like everything from a field of wildflowers to Beyoncé. But what's the best scent for the gaming geek?

Calvin Klein's 'Obsession' might be perfect for the die-hard fanboys, but if you're all about role-playing games, a better choice might be the RPG line of perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab that lets you smell like an orc, elf, dwarf or other fantasy game standard.

Apparently, it's all about layering. Customers first select their race (orc, elf, dwarf, half-elf or halfling), and are then encouraged to pick a class (cleric, fighter, mage, paladin, ranger or rogue) and two alignments (Good? Evil? Chaotic? Lawful? You get the idea.). Once you've found four scents that match your character, they'll be layered on top of each other and sent your way, taking your role-playing -- and possibly your social life -- to the next level.

If you have the gold, that is. These perfumes aren't cheap. A 5ml bottle runs for $17.50 (a 100ml of the aforementioned Obsession runs $70). But if you're looking to charm the wenches and rogues at the local tavern, it's the price you'll have to pay.

Sound ludicrous? Don't tell Black Phoenix. The company has been in business for 15 years specializing in this sort of thing, making scents that "run the aesthetic gamut of magickal, pagan and mythological blends, Renaissance, Medieval and Victorian formulas, and horror/Gothic-themed scents." We shudder to think what "Cthulhu" smells like.

If you're eager to get your Gimli on -- but curious as to what exactly you'll end up smelling like -- here are a few descriptions from the Black Phoenix site:

Dwarf: Iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather.

Elf: Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry.

Orc: Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.

Fighter: Leather, musk, blood, and steel. (Note: This is probably not good for first dates.)

Ranger: Untamed wilderness: buckskin accord with Terebinth pine, Russian birch, black ironwood, elder bark, hay, armoise, juniper, patchouli, galangal root, Spanish moss, and cabreuva.

Good: Shimmering celestial musk with vanilla, white honey, acacia, and sugar cane.

Evil: Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root.

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